Humorous Epitaphs

I’ve always been interested in what message people want to leave on their tombstone, and here are a few favorites. You might think I’m kidding, but these are actual epitaphs…..

“Here lies my wife in earthly mold
who when she lived did naught but scold
Good friends, go softly in your walking
lest she should wake up and rise up talking.”

“Here lies the body of our dear Anna
done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that dealt the blow
but the skin of the thing that laid her low.”

“Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder
She burst while drinking a seltzer powder
Called from this earth to her heavenly rest
She drank it, and she effervesced.”

An epitaph on an infant’s tombstone…

“Since I have been
so quickly done for
I wonder what I
was begun for”

Epitaph for a hypochondriac…

“I told you I was sick”


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